So I think I know why I freaked out, lied and said I had a boyfriend to the amazing cute guy who hit on me at the bar. It's because after that I starting thinking about hooking up with him. And then hooking up with other guys. And then thinking about how one of those hook-up could possibly hold the potential for a relationship. And then thinking about how it's been so long since I've had a boyfriend that I would probably suck at being one, and how I really, really want one. I was driving with my roommate today and he mentioned how wanting a boyfriend and a relationship was weird and needy. I absolutely disagree, but I didn't really feel like getting heckled by him so I said nothing. And I know that he wants one too, he's just too blind to realize that he has something great right in front of him (who he's actually out to dinner with right now...) but instead keeps falling back in line with the same abusive alcoholic moron that keeps pulling him down.
If this guy can have two (or more) potential people to date, why the fuck can't I find one? I don't particularly like the bar scene here, since it seems everyone has already fucked everyone else (or fucked someone who did), and going online just seems... weird. I mean, what kind of people are so socially inept that they have to go online to find potential mates? Oh... right.
It's so fucking frustrating that it just makes me want to go back to craigslist to find random hookups and hide in being used.
I wish that I had better advice that this, Evan, but many people have trouble meeting the right person. Smaller towns are more difficult than larger ones. Sometimes a social setting that isn't a bar is a good place to meet people. Maybe a gay sports league or something like that? But go into it to meet people, not to find a boyfriend. That's too much pressure. And sometimes meeting the friend of a friend is how a relationship can start.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a huge fan of the bar scene. Sadly, eliminating it also removes one of the most common and supposedly easiest ways to find dates. Once you do this, you have to go out of your way to form the relationships you need. Community groups, special interest groups, sports groups, etc., are really a good way to meet different people and get yourself out there. Find something that interests you and then start going.
ReplyDeleteSecond. Online dating is stuck with a reputation that really applies more to the 90s than it does today. Yes, there are some creeps and weirdos out there, but there are plenty of those in the bars and clubs as well. Pick a decent site (OkCupid is my favorite) and give it a try. This is the age myspace, google, and facebook... there is nothing wrong with meeting someone online and starting a normal relationship.